Sometimes, I’ll put the TV on in the background just to fill up the quiet. There are a lot more times lately when it’s just quiet which I seem to do more and more of while working but I do have that habit. There’s a movie I think it’s one of the best movies I’ve ever seen.
I had it on in the background today and there’s this one scene (out of many) with a monologue and the dialogue is heartbreaking and raw, I mean this actually gets me teary but it’s done so well and is such a testament to the actor delivering the lines:
K - You don't want any water?
No… I just… (starts crying a bit) I’m so fucked up here Alan, I don’t know… there’s so much… so many things…
K - Are you on drugs right now?
If I talk to you… y’know… if I tell you things… then you’re a lawyer, right? You can’t say things, you can’t tell anyone, it’s like the privelage, right? Attorney-client, you understand?
K -Not exactly, Linda. I’m not sure where you’re going with this…
Like a shrink, like if I go to see a shrink, I’m protected, I can say things… fuck! I don’t know what I’m doing
K - Linda, you’re safe. Ok. It’s alright. You’re my friend. You and Earl are my clients and
what you need to talk about won’t leave this room, you have something you have to say…I have something to tell you. I have to tell you something. I want to change his will, can I change
his will? … I need to…K - You can’t change his will. Only Earl can change his will.
No, no… NO, you see… I never loved him! I never loved him, Earl. When I started… when I met him… I met him and I fucked him and I married him because I wanted his money! do you understand?
I’m telling you this now… this I’ve never told anyone… I didn’t love him! And now… I know I’m in that will… I know, I was there with him… we were all there together when we made that fucking thing and all the money I’ll get… I don’t want it! Because I love him so much now! I’ve fallen in love with him now… for real… as he’s dying! and I look at him and he’s about to go… Alan, he’s dead… he’s moments…
I took care of him through this, Alan. And… What Now? Then?
I don’t want him to die! I didn’t love him when we met… and I’ve done so many bad things to him that he doesn’t know… things I want to confess to him… but now I do: I love him! I love him so much and I can’t stand… he’s going…
K - What kind of medication are you on right now, Linda that’s…
This is not any fucking medication talking… this isn’t! I don’t know… I don’t know… Can you give me nothing?
You have power of attorney… can you see him… can you? In this final fucking moment… go see him and make sure… change the fucking will! I don’t want any money… I couldn’t live with myself, this thing I’ve done! I’ve fucking done so many bad things… I fucked around. I fucked around on him! I fucking cheated on him… Alan… You’re his lawyer, our laywer, THERE!
I’m his wife… we are married. I broke the conract of marriage! I fucking cheated on him… many times over, I sucked other men’s cocks! and fuck… fuck… fuck… fuck… Other Things I’ve Done…
The scene goes on a bit after that but that’s the thrust of it before it winds down and she leaves. Julianne Moore gives one of the best performances of her career in Magnolia. This was Paul Thomas Anderson’s follow up film after Boogie Nights (another great movie) and before Punch Drunk Love (an amazing movie). It’s got an amazing cast and an incredible soundtrack by Aimee Mann. If you’ve never seen it, it’s streaming on HBO Max until the end of October and it’s really worth a watch.
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